What is RI-EMDR?
What is RI-EMDR?
Relational Integrative EMDR (RI-EMDR) is a compassionate, depth-oriented approach to healing. It blends attachment-focused EMDR with parts work, neuroscience, the mind–body connection, and mindfulness.
At its core, RI-EMDR recognizes something powerful: every part of you has a purpose. Even the parts that feel confusing, overwhelming, or “too much” are trying to help in some way.
This approach gently supports you in healing past wounds, improving current relationships, and building healthier, more secure connections moving forward.
What Makes RI-EMDR Different?
RI-EMDR looks beyond symptoms. It helps us understand why we feel and respond the way we do.
Some of the key elements include:
Attachment-focused work
Our need for connection is wired into us. When attachment is disrupted—especially early in life—it can deeply impact how we relate to ourselves and others.
Parts work (Resource Therapy)
We all have different “parts” within us. In RI-EMDR, every part is welcomed and respected. Nothing is seen as broken. There are no bad parts—only parts that learned how to help us survive.
Mind–brain–body connection (Polyvagal Theory)
Healing doesn’t require you to feel safe everywhere in your life. Through the therapeutic relationship, your nervous system can begin to experience safety and regulation again.
Mindfulness and somatic awareness
By slowing down and tuning into the body, you can build a stronger connection with yourself and increase self-awareness.
Spiritual and deeper connection
This work can also include exploring meaning, purpose, and the connection between emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual experiences.
Collective identity and lived experience
You are shaped not only by your personal story, but also by your family, culture, and community. All of this matters in the healing process.
The Power of Imaginative Repair
One of the most meaningful parts of RI-EMDR is something called imaginative repair.
Sometimes, trauma keeps us feeling like we’re still living in the past—even when we’re not. Our minds and bodies hold onto those experiences.
Imaginative repair allows us to gently revisit those moments—not to relive them, but to change how they are held inside us.
You might connect with a younger version of yourself who felt alone, unseen, or overwhelmed. In this space, that younger part can finally be:
heard
validated
supported
This can create a deep sense of freedom, choice, and perspective—often leading to lasting change.
Why Choose RI-EMDR?
RI-EMDR offers something many people haven’t experienced before: a sense of depth combined with gentleness.
It doesn’t just focus on trauma symptoms—it looks at the relational patterns and experiences underneath them.
People often find that this approach helps them:
understand themselves more clearly
feel more connected internally
shift long-standing emotional patterns
experience greater compassion for themselves
My Journey Through Training
During my Level 1 training, I learned how to integrate parts work, compassion-focused care, and imagery rescripting into EMDR.
But more importantly—I experienced it myself.
In one of my practicum sessions, I connected with a younger part of me who felt deeply alone… searching for belonging and acceptance. She carried feelings of being “less than,” insignificant, and unseen.
Meeting her—and helping her feel heard and supported—was one of the most powerful experiences of my life.
I share this not just as a therapist, but as a person.
I believe in being real. I don’t see myself as different from the people I work with. We all carry experiences, wounds, and patterns shaped by our relationships. It’s part of being human.
A Final Thought…
In relationships, we don’t set out to hurt each other—and yet, we do. We’re human. We’re imperfect. And those experiences can stay with us.
When you begin to understand your parts, your patterns, and your story, it can be life-changing—not just for you, but for the people around you.
RI-EMDR can feel different. Maybe even a little “weird.” But it invites you to go deeper—to meet the parts of yourself that have been carrying pain for a long time…and finally help them heal.
I look forward to hearing from you!
With love and kindness,
Ashley
Choosing Courage!
It all begins with an idea.
I grew up in a small fishing village in rural Newfoundland where the culture was as thick as the fog. I was blessed to grow up in such a tight nit family and community where people just took care of each other. I didn’t know what a therapist was, but I knew I needed one at a young age. Teenage years are unkind to most. I was a sensitive child and was hurt more easily than others. Sensitive people learn this from a very young age. Being the sensitive youngster that I was, you could say that this led to struggles. As a teen in a small town, I didn’t have exposure to services that were often and typical in big cities, like counselling and therapy. So on I went…making bad choices after another. For some reason I knew this wasn’t who I was supposed to be. I had great role models that helped mold me and encourage the ‘helper’ within…but I just didn’t know how to get there.
Fast forward and I am off to University. My parents didn’t give me an option, I was attending University and that was that. A decision that I will forever be grateful for them making for me. Navigating school and post secondary options can be difficult to say the least. All I knew is that I wanted to help people. I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s when the cod moratorium created devastation in our small fishing towns. I saw our community change nearly overnight. Families sold their fishing license’s. License's that had been handed down for generations. Identities lost or forever changed. I didn’t know it at the time, but this impacted me and how I saw the world.
I ‘ve always loved school. School was my safe haven. It is where I excelled the most…my arena so to speak. However, what to do? So many options. I tried on a few options but nothing really fit. Until…I failed a university course in my second semester, failed the eye exam for RCMP, decided to join the military and then 911 happened. I was as lost as a sailor without a compass. Feeling lost, defeated and like I had no options left…I made an appointment with an academic advisor at Memorial University. She was kind and asked me what I was interested in. I told her I wanted to help people…but I didn’t really know what that meant. She went through the different options and asked…why don’t you consider social work…my response…what is that? I quickly learned that this was my calling. I could help people without having an exercise requirement….perfect…where can I apply? My journey from here out wasn’t easy or straightforward either. I was eager to apply however, without the volunteer experience, I was rejected….AGAIN! Feeling lost and sorry for myself, as many of my fellow friends had received acceptance letters….I had a few options:
Give up, feel sorry for myself, stay stuck/miserable, and succumb to the pressures of university
Change course - do something different
Move forward - assess the situation and make a plan to try again - but harder
Now this wouldn’t be much of a story if I chose any other option, than option 3, now would it? So off I went to the volunteer bureau at the university. I called and applied to volunteer 5 nights per week. I spent the year volunteering on crisis line to support survivors of sexual violence, attending a half way house to help ex-offenders gain the skills they need to transition into the community successfully, attending the women’s shelter providing comfort and support to women who faced many challenges, attending sexual health centers offering support to young people making life changing decisions about their bodies…and the list goes on. Being sensitive and stubborn, getting that rejection letter lit a fire inside me. I knew I did my best…AND…I could do more. So I made a plan and stuck to it. I committed to giving it my best in that year to prove to the School of Social Work that I was worthy of their acceptance….and I have been working relentlessly ever since. My point is…the journey is rarely straightforward….it’s messy, imperfect and takes courage to get up and continue to fight after you fall. I believe we are all capable of a lot more than we give ourselves credit for. Sometimes when a door closes, its a gift! I have learned that accepting these rejections as gifts, can be life changing. However, sometimes we are so deep into a problem, that we can’t see a way out. This is where a counsellor can help you navigate a way through…your way through!
You may ask, why share your story Ashley? Because it matters. Stories matter. Stories can help others know they are not alone and to dig deep to find the courage to reach out! Life is too short to stay miserable…let’s get moving forward….together!
Your friendly neighborhood counsellor,
Ashley Mercer, MSW, RSW